Today I was on the phone with Bella Belly, doing the check-in on this last day of pregnancy. We hope, that is. I asked her how she was feeling, and she said, "Well, I feel fine, most of the time, but then I get really anxious, and my husband is busy outside painting the house."
"He's painting the house? Right now?"
"Yes, and the roofers are here, too. And I'm out of thank-you notes, and Polaroid film, and tapes for the video camera, so I need to go to the store."
"Well, don't overdo it. We don't want a Wal-Mart baby."
"No, I am so not Natalie Portman."
We spent about two months our first senior year of college really quite obsessed with the movie Where The Heart Is - the one where Natalie Portman plays this really charming trashy girl and has her baby in the Wal-Mart. Ashley Judd is in it, too, and we loved how she would walk around with her Big Gulp cup. And the part where Stockard Channing would say the blessing, and ask forgiveness for the fornication that had taken place "on this very table this afternoon". As I recall, that movie was about two months late to Blockbuster. We just couldn't part with it, I think, because there are all these great moments where you can cry, and God knows you need some therapeutic crying moments your first senior year of college.
Today, as I was going about my work day, I caught myself thinking about everything that is unfolding like a Slinky neatly shhhhsssking its way down the stairs - trying to prepare myself for the magnitude of the moments. I know I can't imagine what it's going to feel like to hold this child, fresh from the halls of heaven. It's overwhelming, pondering the ancient line that my Bella will cross, that blink of an eye that leads to a whole new galaxy - motherhood. I've been at the brink of tears several times today. After work, I had coffee with Rookie Mama and the Green Bean Kid. I watched my god-daughter, the golden-headed child of my heart, make her funny expressions and eat my chocolate, and my heart couldn't hold the love that oozes over all of my life like honey. How I wish that the mysterious power of healing was mine, that I could lay my hands on Bella and ensure everything to happen safely and painlessly.
I leave for the hospital in less than an hour. Send your good thoughts and prayers and blessings in every tongue, and go kiss those you love, all in celebration, and dance a little dance, for the beauty bursting forth tonight and tomorrow. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the mountains clapped for joy, or if the stars in the sky waltzed in jubilation, all for the birth of one very precious little girl.
It's like Christmas in my heart.