- Last night I dreamed that I gave birth to twins. "Gave birth" is a term I use loosely - somehow, I got the message that the baby was here and guess what! There was not one, but two babies! And I was thrilled. Then I went somewhere much like a grocery store to see my children. Both were boys, and one had a full head of hair and a BEARD, just like his daddy. I can't tell you how proud I was, honestly, all this beautiful thick hair, I didn't even think twice about it. When I woke up I told Husband airly, "I dreamed I had the babies.
He answered, "You do mean THE baby, right? Just the one baby."
- This morning I whipped up THREE DOZEN muffins. Please don't ask me why I made so many, muffins are just like gremlins. They multiply. I made one batch of blueberry ones (from a mix) and then another batch, which is not a mix but requires that you measure things like flour and baking powder (and which also makes TWO DOZEN) with chocolate chips. I felt a bit like Red Riding Hood, with my basket of goodies. Of course then I had just a few students on their last day of class, and so I took the basket around to all the wonderful ladies in the building. And can I tell you? Nearly every single one of them chose blueberry? What is wrong with these people? How can you not love CHOCOLATE and BREAKFAST, all smushed up together in a muffin.
- I have loved all your advice on what to say to dumb obnoxious people. You see, I am a Southern girl, and I am bred to BE NICE at all times. This is a very hard habit to break. Yesterday evening I walked into a grocery store and the lady with the buggies didn't even BOTHER greeting me - it was simply, "How far along are you?" But - yesterday a coworker (who I love, really) said, upon seeing for the first time that day, with, "Look, it's Miss Fat Belly."
Without skipping a beat I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "You do realize you are going to straight to hell, don't you?" And I think I frightened her, even though she's a Baptist and is used to being threatened with hell on a regular weekly basis.
(Just kidding. I love all you Baptists. Take my little joke with a grain of salt, okay?)