Sunday School Rebel

being mama bear

We are slowly finding a routine and rhythm to this new life.  I don't know where to start except to begin writing a bit every day or so, and yet there's so much to remember, so much of that first week where there was no time to really write or reflect, only time to deal with each new minute.  Somehow, I have to find a way to record all of that, and the first dreamy days home.  But for now, we are here, and so I will start right here in the middle of everything. 

My mom officially went home last Thursday, but she came back last night to accompany me to Thomas's two week checkup (this morning).  Yes, I am a grownup, but I am much more comfortable going to doctors with another set of hands/ears to help and listen and ask questions. Thomas prefers to eat ALL MORNING LONG, and so I was a tad bit worried about getting out the door in a timely fashion.  We did great, in that we were only five minutes late, and I think that's a tiny miracle, considering there was a two-week-old involved who doesn't get the concept of hurrying up. 

We arrive, and I approach the window to sign in, fill out any paperwork they may throw at me, whatever a mom does when she takes her kid to the doctor.  Go Diego Go! was blaring on the TV in the waiting room, which made me happy, because I know the Rescue Pack song by heart already.  The check in nurse says something about "Okay, so we're doing his circumcision today." 

Um, no, we're not. 

Obviously, my child with the dangerously low platelet count did not have an elective surgery in his first days of life. We've been waiting on word from his doctors in Jackson, and I'd mentioned the fact that he was uncircumcised when I made the appointment, but in no way did that mean that hey! today's the day!

It's interesting, how quickly the mama bear in you can raise up, brandishing a paw with shiny claws. I didn't feel angry, but a surge of certain protection.  Nurses and medical personnel in general can be very intimidating, but I let them know that no, I didn't want to do his circumcision until we got another good platelet count, and that wasn't going to be this morning.  True, we were doing blood work today (to check his platelets) but they were ready to take my child's foreskin right then, the bloodthirsty lot of vampires.  One nurse said disparagingly, "Well, they can't do it after today."  As if there could be no practicing doctor in the Americas who could possibly perform the procedure after today. I simply smiled and said, "I want to talk to his doctor about it." 

As soon as we got back into a room and his nurse understood where we were coming from, she was horrified that anyone had suggested we do a circumcision today.  Thomas' doctor, whom I now officially adore, was also quick to affirm my BIG FAT NO WAY.  Blood was duly collected, and the kid now has a fabulous platelet count of 197.  He has gained 14 ounces - yes, that's what eating all night and day will do for you - and has grown one whole inch.  He was poked and prodded and pronounced perfectly normal in every way.  And, we have a circumcision scheduled for next Friday.   

So there. Swipe, goes the mama bear claw. 

In other news, I had sushi, delicious asparagus rolls, the crunchiness of crunchy shrimp rolls, for lunch, and it was very, very good.  And now it is far past time for me to lay down, even though my son is currently snoozing on his father's chest.  I have a feeling he'll start stirring once he senses that I am laying down, all by myself, and without him.  Good night.      

two weeks ago, I was totally flying in a helicopter right about now, you know

two weeks, originally uploaded by sundayschoolrebel.

the best kind of news

in his moses basket, originally uploaded by sundayschoolrebel.

Today we (meaning Lovie, which is what we're calling my mama now that she's a doting grandma, I, and Thomas) went for another blood test. I did considerably better dealing with taking my baby into a germy hospital today than last Saturday. Also, we got to ride on a golf cart, and that's always fun. Thomas is so experienced - first a helicopter ride, and now a golf cart - a little daredevil.

The results from today's blood test are cause for celebration - his platelet count went back up to 107. Basically, anything over 100 is considered normal, if I'm correctly remembering what the doctors said last week. When my phone rang today, and I knew it was Beaux with the results, I felt myself falling into fear, momentarily. I wasn't ready for any bad news. But it was the best news, and we are all very happy and thankful. The doctor said we can wait a week for another test, which is music to this mama's ears.

One boy is asleep on the couch, and the little one is yawning. I'm hoping to start posting more soon, but I keep choosing naps and anything that keeps me vertical, while my mama is still here to wait on us. Also, I'm trying to read Harry Potter in between feedings, sometimes in the middle of them - and so - more later. Thank you for any and all good thoughts and prayers - once again - they worked.

one week old

one week old, originally uploaded by sundayschoolrebel.

He is worth every sleep deprived moment.

Thank you for all your happy wishes and celebrations. We think he's awfully cute, too, and it has been proclaimed that he possesses my upper lip and lungs. Otherwise, he is all Beaux. But you know, that's really okay with me.

We've had a topsy turvy morning, with a lot of phone calls and faxes flying back and forth and plenty of tears in the bathtub, the best place to cry if you've just got to cry. We received the results from his blood test over the weekend this morning - the platelet count on Saturday was considerably lower - 53 - and we just got word from our Jackson doctor that we can stay put and do another local blood test on Wednesday. Until then, I was throwing things in suitcases and expecting to head back to Jackson. So, just please send up your prayers and good thoughts that somehow, his platelet count will bounce back up. We were very surprised to hear that it was low again, and kicking ourselves for not calling yesterday to see if the results were in. Sometimes having faith is a bit of crapshoot, it seems, and I mean that in the best way possible.

I miss knowing what's going on with all of you, but you know time is seized in bite sized snatches these days. Right now I'm off for a nap (cross fingers) and some deep breathing exercises. I couldn't do this without the love and grace of God and so many of you, and by that I also mean my precious "real life" friends who constantly here for us. You know I've said over and over, that if everyone could have a church family like mine - well, that's my wish for everyone. Talk about being the hands and feet - they are that and so very much more. We are blessed, I keep reminding myself, we are blessed. And we will continue to be so, one way or the other.

introducing thomas hayes

introducing thomas hayes, originally uploaded by sundayschoolrebel.

Exhale.

Breathing is a big part of giving birth. As it is, afterwards.

This past week has been so everything that you could hope and fear - I kept thinking, "I really didn't think anything would be wrong with my child." And yet there was the arrow of hope, just one tiny thing wrong with our baby, that could be fixed. We are so blessed that we had this son who had everything else right - and I felt that blessing over and over again in the NICU, when I had to walk past tiny babies smaller than one of God's eyelashes. I was thankful and yet ashamed to be thankful in some ways. I just tried to be thankful, mostly.

I'm writing this while scarfing down a sandwich - my hair is actually brushed - and we're about to walk out the door to head up the road to take Thomas for another blood test. But besides all that, we are well and adjusting to new life with a baby. Speaking of which, who also needs to eat, so I'd better get on that. I cannot say thank you enough for all your love and prayers and I want you to know how it sustained Beaux and I and everyone who's been on this crazy roller coaster with us. We are really very okay, and full of joy and wonder at our very own baby.

guest writer...

UPDATE- 10:30pm Thursday

Everything is great! Baby is in the room with mama and daddy and we are hoping everyone will be discharged tomorrow!  We may not know until tomorrow afternoon... so if you are gonna call me, try around 3 or so.

GBK is gonna come up with a friend so that we can make a quick trip to see Sam and the baby and then to the zoo or museum. I miss her so bad. I have never been away from her this long. If baby is discharged tomorrow, we will go home too. If not, we will stay one more night.

I hope to post again tomorrow night. Or check doobiwah's site to see if she has updates posted before I do.

love. love. love you all.

Rookie Mama

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UPDATE- 3:30pm Thursday

The last time I was there, about an hour ago, everything was great. Level is still around 114 (they consider that stable, no significant increase/decrease)

Doctors tell us that he will be moved to a crib in the nursery today (HOORAY!) meaning Sam can take him to her room and do what she needs to do. Poor baby, he hasn't even had a bath yet!

We are hoping that we get to go home tomorrow. If not, then Friday.

He does have a touch of jaundice but we are not concerned...

What else?

Oh, Sam will stay in the hospital again tonight, it will just make logistics easier for everyone- since baby couldn't be released today.

All is well. We are all tired and so ready to hold him without worrying about wires and cords wrapping around us.

I am doing some laundry now and plan to get back up there as soon as I am done... so I should have an update in the next couple of hours. If someone wants to call me, I will let you know and you can just leave a comment here.

I am trying to leave the fun tidbits for Sam to share when she gets the chance to post. He really is sweet. We take turns going down to hold him and when my time is up I want to cry. But I know it is important for Mama and Daddy to bond with him. So I graciously step aside.

CARRIE- If you read this- I tried calling you but I must have an old phone number- it tells me it is not a working #. Call me if you have time.

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UPDATE- 7:20am Thursday:

For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about, refer to http://rookiemama.blogspot.com/ to read what I posted earlier in the week.

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Hey y'all- I was finally able to log in to Sam's blog to post.

So here goes-

Everyone is so great! Baby boy's numbers are great and doing so well- we are hoping to go home as early as Thursday (but understand that we may be held for a while longer, we are trying to stay very flexible!)...

Baby's platelet count started at 10, then 13, then 92 and then 112... the last test showed 113.  PRAISE JESUS! Anything over 100 is considered good- so they will just continue to monitor him the next day or two... We just have to take it all one day at a time.

His bili-ruben (I am quite sure that is a misspelling) is border-line... so they will continue to check that (tells if he has jaundice. He is a pretty color like a little Indian which made us all believe that he had a touch of it at least so we *were* expecting it).

If Baby is still in the hospital and Sam is discharged there is the possibility that they will get to get into the Ronald McDonald house and stay free of charge. How awesome- but you can not make a reservation- so we won't know until the actual day of the need... they just never know when people are moving out until that actual day. We have someone that has offered to pay for a motel for as long as she needs it though- *There has not been one need that has not been met thus far*.

Sam and family (including me!) appreciate all of your prayers, support, love, attention. How great it is to have such a supporting 'family'.

If you have any questions, feel free to post them or send me a private email. I will answer them as best as I can.

She is really doing well- she has been so strong and brave through this whole experience- I have *never* seen her react to something so scary and tramatic. She is in hog heaven just holding that baby.  She will do whatever it takes to take care of him and that is keeping her smiling, laughing and joking around.

We have all felt such a peace the whole time we have been here... we can certainly feel your prayers. Keep 'em coming!

I am sorry I am rambling, I have one eye open, one eye closed, have only slept 6 hours since Sat night.

Pray that we all sleep well tonight and get well-rested for tomorrow.

love. love. love you all.

Rookie mama

waiting game

After three very busy days, I decided that today I was staying home and doing nothing.  Or maybe a little bit of something, but mostly nothing.  I highly recommend this plan to anyone - it involves plenty of snacks, taking an afternoon nap, and feeling a general sense of accomplishment when you do anything moderately productive, like, say, taking a bath. And, I have a million things to tell you, so I will now resort to bullets.

• I think my cable/internet company is trying to drive me completely insane.  Yes, it's personal at this point.  We've been on this up and down ride with the cable box working, not working, me taking it in to trade for a new one, and nooooooow the Internet flakes out on me (but usually not Beaux, it's like I have some Internet killing hormones zooming around my body).  One phone call, one service call that didn't pan out, and then one more phone call with someone with an Indian accent that actually ended up a connection to the server and then, one hour later, everything collasping in a state of NO OUTSIDE COMMUNICATION.  Yesterday everything seemed to fall apart at the same time and fortunately I had to leave for an appointment, otherwise the home of the Slowskys would have received a ranting phone call from yours truly.  I'm still pretty ranty about it, in that I think I deserve a good twenty buck discount on our bill this month, what with all the flaking out.  Part of us thinks it's just that we live out in the country now, and maybe we'll have to consider the evil satellite dish.

• All I know is, my husband walks through the door and everything magically starts working.  It's really unfair.

• We saw the new Harry Potter last night, which made me very happy.  Now I can have this baby, one way or the other.  I very much enjoyed the movie and really liked the cinematography - dark and moody.  It's been a very long time since I read the book but I'd listened to the beginning again on the iPod, not too long ago.  I'm always amazed at the way a movie can neatly express a scene that takes many, many words to describe.  I do love dear J.K., but she can be a bit longwinded.  Overall, I thought the movie was fabulous and extremely succint - not a lot of the other side stories, but the major over-arching problem of Voldemort being back on the scene.  As for Dolores Umbridge, oh, she was awful.  In the best way possible.  Now I'm planning on picking up book 6 to prepare for what's coming...just for a heartbreaking refresher.  Not to mention that I'm totally unable to read anything deep or complex at this point.
• I went to the doctor yesterday, and nothing has changed.  Nothing. I mentioned my tiny fender bender, but he didn't seem worried, and I've felt plenty of movement since then.  They don't like to let you go MUCH past your due date, and he offered to schedule an induction right then and there.  Of course we are waiting for Mr. Kicky Feet to make his own decisions at this point, but if we go past next Wednesday with no baby appearing, then we'll have to make an executive decision.  And when I say that, I mean we'll be trying every home remedy in the book before I get to the hospital. 
• That said, I'm definitely having a few signs of early labor.  On Tuesday night, all the baby's movement seemed to be in my back, and my back was hurting a lot.  I was seriously considering those motorized wheelchairs while I waddled through Target.  Last night, on the way home from the movie, my stomach started hurting, just your regular upset tummy kinda hurt. It wasn't so awful as to keep me from sleeping, but I did wake up in the middle of the night and still felt yucky.  Then I worried about actually going into labor and having to call everyone in the middle of the night and how I really just wanted to sleep, thank you very much.  Thankfully, that was what ended up happening. 
• My lovely friend Rachael very generously offered to take some maternity portraits of me.  Despite the heat, we had a great time and she was very sweet and imaginative. Plus, it's always wonderful to see an old friend. I believe she's deeply talented and can't wait to see how they all turn out, but if anyone can make a 9 month pregnant woman look good, it's Rachael. You can see a sneak preview here. We also have to thank my Not My Boss' Awesome Wife, for being so flexible and letting us tromp through her backyard and house with literally ten minutes notice. She was our last minute assistant and helped find some great places for photos.  Also, she gave us cookies. It doesn't get better than that, does it?

in the meantime

Rookie Mama - the mother to our beloved Green Bean Kid and my dearest friend who keeps me sane on a regular basis - is hosting a guessing game as to length/weight of Mr. Kicky Feet, aka The Baby Who Is Coming At Any Time.  Or Next Week.  Please go to her blog and leave your guess, if you like playing games, and see what the grand prize is.  I suggested a nice FedExed package of his first dirty diaper, but she assured me I will think it's high art and wouldn't be able to part from it.  Rookie Mama is the "cruise director" of the birth - meaning, she is managing most of the phone calling and is also my backup ride if I happen to need to go to the hospital whilst Beaux is at work.  Believe me, you want to get in good with her if you want to know anything about anything. 

What are you waiting for? Go!

(Don't you love it when I boss the Internet around?)

shot to hell, tinged with grace

bloody hell, originally uploaded by sundayschoolrebel.

So, I really meant to come back and write a post yesterday, about all the good things going on right now. (Not in the least, maybe I really will get to see the new Harry Potter movie! I am still just dialated a fingertip and have only progressed to 60% effaced.) And then my day got shot straight to hell. See one car trying to leave a parking lot, one car backing up and neither one seeing each other until it was too late. See above dent. In my car. The car my parents just gave us, the car I just arranged the new title and insurance for. And for the record, I was the one trying to leave - and got backed up into. One of those tiny accidents that ALMOST happen to all of us, anytime you're in a crowded parking lot.

Honestly, it could have been so much worse. It's really very minor, and the car is still able to drive (thank you God thank you God). I am not hurt, not even a little. But that didn't keep me from pounding the steering wheel and screaming several obscentities in pure frustration. One reason I was so upset at first is because I took care of the insurance over the weekend, but didn't have my new insurance card as they emailed it to me and our printer is on the blink. (Mercury, you and your tricksey ways, I am so over you.) I was freaking OUT, because in Mississippi if you don't have car insurance (or, in my fevered pregnant brain, proof of it) you get a very large ticket. Thankfully, the car was still covered under my dad's policy, and I had the card for that. I explained everything to the kind police officer - sweating rivers in the noonday sun - and he assured me that everything was fine, it's not everyday he gets to see a car that is double insured.

I also couldn't ask for a nicer person to get hit by - a very kind lady, who was so worried because she had hit a 9 month pregnant woman, who was quickly dissolving into tears. I was so hungry, and it was hot, and she probably asked my forgiveness about twenty times. What could have been a horrible situation was really one filled with grace - and I'm thankful. Or, at least I was thankful once I got away, found some lunch, and sat in some cool air conditioning. My one prayer is that we can be done with all the car drama already, okay God? Please? No more dead batteries, or flukey things involving belts, and that I'll find the lost title to my old red car. Is there a saint for car troubles? Because I sure need his or her help, and quickly.

There really are many good things going on right now, despite this small hiccup. I think I'll save all that news for tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll be busy painting. Whoever thought it was a great idea to paint a changing table, well, that would be me. For the record, I am a lunatic.

the view at 38 weeks

the view at 38 weeks, originally uploaded by sundayschoolrebel.

Having to show up ANYWHERE by 9 a.m. is truly cruel at this point of my life. When they called to tell me about this meeting last week, I was truly hoping I'd be in the hospital with a sweet babe at my breast, instead of lumbering into a classroom with uncomfortable plastic seats . Anywhere other than a dumb staff development meeting.

All that to say, I'll be posting a real post later today. Unless I get very busy taking a very long NAP, to make up for the ridiculousness of having to get out of my pajamas on a Monday morning.

more exciting than fireworks, in my book

I get pretty excited about diaper bags, and was really concerned about buying the perfect one. Not so much a brand, because I'm not like that, but one that's functional and also aesthically pleasing.  Just because I'm having a boy doesn't mean I want everything for him to be emblazoned with baseball mitts and trucks.  Pretty much as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I started my search for THE great diaper bag.  Everywhere I looked, people were raving over the Skip*Hop.  Amalah plugged it over at the Advice Smackdown, so I checked out the price and features.  Everything was just right for me - I chose the Canvas Duo in Uptown Stripe.  When I was finally ready to buy it a couple of weeks back, I gleefully clicked over the website, only to discover that it was OUT OF STOCK.  Talk about a disaster - I was SO disappointed.  I'd really been looking forward to this diaper bag! I found a boutique down on the Coast that carried them (you know, 80 miles away) and called to see if they had the one I wanted.  It seemed as though the only one they had in the Uptown Stripe was the really big bag - for a lot more money that I felt okay about spending.  Not to mention that I don't really need to get in the car and go eighty miles away, at this point in my pregnancy.  Eventually, I ended up googling Skip*Hop and found an online boutique that had what I wanted in stock.  And yesterday it arrived on my doorstep - of course the FedEx guy came when I was in the shower. 

I think my favorite feature and what really sold me on the bag is the adjustable strap feature - with a very simple switch, you can strap it to the back of your stroller (or shopping cart, I bet!) I know in the past, dealing with the Green Bean Kid's many accessories, you always end up stuffing the diaper bag under the stroller. And then you've got to haul it back out to search for the bottle or book or keys. So I love that it will be simple to reach whatever I need with a lot less effort.  There's a pocket for your cell phone, two shallow pockets so things won't get lost in a deep black hole, a changing pad, two side pockets.  Carrie inspected it when she came to pick me up for our "date" and proclaimed it just right, if a little small.  I think it's good to have a smaller bag, because let me tell you, if I have a big bag, I will stuff it full of crap.  I am the queen of large purses, and this is better than any purse.  Of course I have two other diaper bags, and one that is being made by a friend, which I am very excited about as well. One is going to my mom's house, and another is sleek and black and I'll use it for special things or maybe church. (Beaux likes the black one best.) I know I really can't have too many bags to switch out and have on hand.  It's just that I am particular, and really had my heart set on this stripedy bag, one way or the other. 

I'm packing it to take the hospital, instead of worrying about another suitcase.  So far I've got diapers (even though I know they'll HAVE diapers at the hospital.  It just feel sacriligous, somehow, not to have diapers in the diaper bag.)  Two snappy side shirts, which are so teensy that I have a hard time believing will fit our giant kidlet.  One sleeper gown, and one matching hat. (This is more to wear home from the hospital.)  Diaper creme (which is rather stinky!) and no wipes yet because somehow I've managed to not end up with any travel wipe containers.  So, I'm opening it up to any mamas - what else should I take to the hospital? I have a whole list of things for myself that are going in my overnight bag, but I'd be happy to hear what you really wished you had thought to take.  I am feeling very clever because I've already got a box of Altoids in my suitcase.  As well as pajama pants for Beaux, in case we're there in the middle of the night and he wants to get comfy.

This is probably the most unpatriotic post in all of America, but do have a happy Fourth.  I hope you get to eat lots of your favorite things, and wave a few sparklers for me, okay?

sunday goodness

• Getting up for early church.  I am now officially on maternity leave from everything in my life, including choir and teaching Sunday School.  It feels like I'm a civilian or something - no ties, no commitments.  Just a girl in the pew, sitting next to her husband.
• Pancakes and hashbrowns after church.  Not to mention eggs and sausage, too. I was most looking forward to the pancakes, but the hashbrowns were the best part. 
• A visit to Target, but making it out without actually purchasing anything.  This probably qualifies as a miracle.
• One new book.  And plenty of available chairs at the bookstore so I could read through the newest People.
• In bed for my Sunday nap by 12:30 p.m.  Extra bonus points: two new pillows bought on sale yesterday.  They escalated the quality of my nap by several levels.