Sunday School Rebel

end of year, everything you wanted to know about me & possibly more

End of year quiz, via the awesome Linda of All & Sundry. She's such a rockstar. 

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? 

Not have a (paying) job, I would say. I resigned from both my jobs in June and got to commit myself fully to staying home with Thomas. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

Last year I didn't really make any resolutions, but I had a word of the year: create. I wasn't half as creative as I meant to be, but I did several crafty things (Valentines for my preschool kids, Thomas's Easter bucket, end-of-the-year cards, etc. ) The crafts seriously fell by the wayside after we moved. Still, I was creative in new ways and really enjoyed myself. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? 

Not really, just friends from church, but no one I consider ultra close. But Carrie did fall pregnant, so that's a good thing. 

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thank God. 

5. What countries did you visit? None. I barely went out of state, people.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Security. We've been on eggshells about Beaux's job (still not hired, working through his temp agency) and we're praying doubly hard that he'll be officially hired on in January (all signs point to yes). Three precarious months has stretched to six, but we've made it through. 

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Beaux's first day of work at his new job: July 11. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Cooking at home, more. That's something we've never done on a regular basis and now we are religious about it. 

9. What was your biggest failure? Probably not finishing my NaNoWriMo novel. I haven't beat myself up about it, because guess what I found out? Writing a novel is HARD. Especially in a month. But I would have liked to get further along that the first chapter, you know?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No, I've been revoltingly healthy, as usual, besides a few bouts of hay fever/ sinus misery. I'm endlessly thankful for our family's good health, especially these last six months.  God is good, y'all. 

11. What was the best thing you bought? Music and books, and a Flip for Beaux's birthday! It's so fun to have a video camera. 

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? America! We elected Barack Obama!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? There's been this local story about a grandmother and aunt who starved a child. I feel sick just thinking about it. 

14. Where did most of your money go? Rent, groceries, the essentials. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?  The election, most likely. I felt excited about it until Sarah Palin came along and then, like so many others, I felt really scared and depressed. But I got over it. 

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?  Coldplay's Viva La Vida. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Hard to say. 
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter, not hard to say. 
c) richer or poorer? Poorer. At least it feels that way. 

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Gone out and played with Thomas, had more adventures as a family. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Stay home. But I am such a homebody!

20. How did you spend Christmas? With both sides of the family, split over two days. 

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Only MORE in love with my sweet baby boy. 

22. What was your favorite TV program? True Blood. Oh, how I love it. Also, Mad Men. I keep meaning to put season 1 on my Netflix queue. 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?  No, I don't think so. I am not big on hating, kinda against the whole "love thy neighbor" thing I try to go by. 

24. What was the best book you read? I can't choose just one, can I? People of the Book, by Geraldine Brooks, Velvet Elvis, by Rob Bell, Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri. There's probably more but I can't remember them all!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Radiohead. I downloaded In Rainbows and then didn't listen to it for months. Maybe a month or so ago I made myself listen to it and couldn't stop, for days and days. I kept saying, "How did I not know they were this amazing?" Years and years I've wasted, not listening to them! 

26. What did you want and get?  To stay home with Thomas. What a gift, a privilege. 

27. What did you want and not get? I feel like I've gotten so much of what I've wanted this year, the only thing lacking is job security for Beaux. 

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I just loved the EXPERIENCE of going out to the movies, especially with girlfriends.  Seeing Sex and the City and Twilight with friends made each movie extra special. I did see Amelie for the first time this year, and LOVE. Big pink puffy heart kind of love for Amelie!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  I had a lovely birthday, with small pleasures that made it special. Now I'm thirty. 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More focus on creative endeavours and less aimless wandering on the Internet. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Comfort. Camoflague of the bulge. Breezy long skirts for all those hot summer days. 

32. What kept you sane? All my sweet friends from inside the computer. Laughing at Thomas, who is hilarious most of the time. And my mama (not hilarious, but sane-keeping). 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I'm not really passionate about anyone, but I do fancy Jon Hamm. How can you NOT? And how can you NOT fall in love with Robert Pattinson during Twilight? 

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Sarah Palin. I know she's not an issue, per se, but her politics made me crazy. 

35. Who did you miss? All of our friends back home. We do miss you, so very much!

36. Who was the best new person you met? My new friend Brenda! 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.  Appreciate your life, your everyday, ordinary life, no matter how hard it is, no matter what you don't have that you think you need. Also, I am lost without a good church congregation to participate in. 

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.   "But in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself." ~The Weepies

I'm torn between having resolutions and a word for the year, and so I'm going to fall somewhere in between. My words for the year are INTENTIONAL and PRESENCE. To me, this addresses where I often lose track of myself. If I'm ever feeling lost, I can draw back to those words as touchstones - am I being intentional? Where do I need to focus my presence? As for resolutions, I want to focus on making our home cozy and pulled together - more pictures on the walls, intentional decorating, culling of stuffage, organizing closets, all that. This sounds silly but it's something I struggle with, and I'm trying to figure out what I really love. 

I'm also going to focus on writing here more, and sharing my life with all of you. 

In the meantime, Happy New Year! Here's hoping 2009 is everything we hope, dream, and long for - and let us celebrate every good thing. 

Christmas recap

We made it out the door on Christmas Eve AHEAD of schedule. Please don't ask me how that happened, I have no idea. My sweet husband motored through the day on almost no sleep (he worked the night before) and made do with a short nap in the car. To deal with the snot nose, Benadryl was administered before we left, and I picked up some saline nose stuff along the way. Thankfully, after a few doses of that over the next couple of days, Thomas was much better. Words cannot express how grateful I was that we didn't have a truly sick kiddo on our hands for the holidays. 

We had a traditional turkey supper with my family early in the evening and demolished a few presents at my grandparents' house. I loved watching my grandma open her big gift - a TV and DVD player for her room, so she can watch something besides sports with my grandpa. I had been on a quest for wholesome movies for her to enjoy - ended up finding a movie based on a Janette Oke series she's read, Sense and Sensibility because it's MY favorite and I think she might like it, and then Little Women (the Winona Ryder one). We are all looking forward to stocking her media library with good stuff! After Thomas was in bed all the grownups played Liverpool Rummy and ate potato chips and my mama's homemade candy (fudge and Martha Washingtons). Because we're fancy like that. All in all, it was my favorite moment of the whole visit, just laughing and feeling murderous towards my brother when he hogs all the cards. 

Christmas morning arrived with a yummy breakfast, and then we all trooped back to Mom and Daddy's in order to open more presents. We were spoiled beyond measure and now I am swimming in new books and yummy new lotions, among other things. Below is a present to Thomas from my brother and his girlfriend - it plays music VERY LOUDLY and DOESN'T HAVE A VOLUME BUTTON. 

Thank you, childless people. 

Thomas was determinedly uninterested in opening presents. All he wanted was to go outside and play with the dogs, bless his heart. Also very important: sitting on the four-wheeler and casting longing glances for SOMEONE to take him on a ride already. 

 

Thankfully, my daddy took him on a long ride all around the farm. It's so sweet to see these two guys bonding more and more as Thomas gets older and thoroughly active. 

 

The day was grey and cloudy but ridiculously warm, as per usual in South Mississippi. I don't think we'd know what to do with ourselves if we had a cold Christmas. 

Before we knew it, it was time to load up the car with all our loot and exchange kisses and hugs. Thomas obligingly took his nap while we drove and woke up in time to land right in the middle of another Christmas full of delicious food and fun cousins who sweetly toted him around the house. I used that child-free time to read magazines and go back for little tastes of potato salad. Thomas also spent some time banging on the piano in his pajamas and riding yet ANOTHER four-wheeler with his Pop and cousins. 

For those of you who know about the situation with my in laws, I'm happy to report that things went very smoothly. Much more smoothly than I dared to hope. We spent Christmas night with them and woke up the next morning with the house to ourselves (they both had to work). Beaux slept late (which he totally deserved) and I drank coffee while Thomas cracked out on Noggin. After we finally showered and loaded up the car (again) we took Thomas to give Nana and Pop one last goodbye kiss, and then indulged ourselves with some drunken noodles at our much missed Thai place. 

All in all, it was a lovely Christmas, and thankfully much less stressful than I expected, whatwith running all over God's creation. Over the weekend, Beaux's mom came to visit. It was good to see her and once again I am surprised by how much I really like her - she's easy to talk to, loves photos, and we spent some time linking up our computers to exchange some childhood photos of  Beaux and then lots from this year of Thomas. She and I stayed up on Saturday night, ordered pizza, and watched The Notebook, totally boohooing our way through the end. If that's not bonding, I don't know what is. 

We've spent most of the week lazing around in our pajamas, eating ridiculous amounts of Christmas candy and various leftovers, reading our new books and watching movies. It's been nice to indulge and have leisurely family time together before Beaux has to go back to work this Friday. I'm planning on working on that quiz of Linda's before we ring in the New Year tonight - so hold on to your hats, folks - two posts in one days - who knew? It's a post-Christmas miracle, or something. 

Merry Christmas!

This morning we celebrated Christmas with our little family - just Beaux and Thomas and I - before it's time for us to hit the road to celebrate with all the grandparents and great-grandparents and other assorted relatives. Thomas is smitten with his ukelele and opened all of his presents from inside his awesome deluxe wagon, a gift sent ahead by Lovie and Gramps. We also had to take a walk to fully enjoy the wagon amazing-ness, before we have to leave it at home for a couple of days. 

Please send good thoughts - we have a lot of going to do and Thomas has a tiny cough and a runny nose. We won't be gone long, but then we are coming home and Beaux's mom will be with us this weekend. 

I'm sending all of you much Christmas love and joy, and hoping that your holiday is every you hope and wish for! All of my dear friends from the blogworld really are a gift, thank you for blessing me by sharing your stories and lives with me. 

signs and wonders

signs and words from Samantha Rebel on Vimeo. 

Another little video showing you some words that Thomas can say (and sign). Happy weekend, everyone!

on being thirty

Monday, I turned thirty. I was too busy having a really lovely birthday to sit down and post my thoughts - not to mention I've been wrapped up in making Shutterfly calendars for various family members, and it's like being sucked into a tube of too many choices - but now I finally have a chance, so here we go. 

Don't you love it when you don't make any plans or have any expectations whatsoever, and then have things turn out fabulously? Usually when I don't make any plans, I find myself wishing at the end of the day that I would have planned something. There were no grand plans for my birthday - Beaux had to work , of course, and my parents and grandparents are coming this weekend for our family celebration.  I briefly contemplated baking something yummy or hitting a bakery for some goodies but never got around to it.  My birthday present from my aunt was taunting me, so I opened it - turned out to be some yummy Arbonne sea salt scrub, and let me tell you, the stuff is divine. I haven't used a salt scrub in a long while and it was such a treat. I don't remember it being so wonderful! 

Thomas and I assembled our attire and headed out for a playdate with 'my new friend Brenda' which is what I always call her. She was kindly babysitting another friend's two year old, and so I was there to hang out and help balance out the adult:kid ratio. We had a good time chatting and trying to interpret various two-year-old behaviors - I promise you, I adore older twos and have realized that they are infinitely easier to deal with rather than these younger-bracket two-year-olds. Young twos are a never ending puzzle - you can't understand anything they have to say, and they are constantly frustrated because you can't understand what they want. Thomas has a spectacular time every time we go over there, because there are billions of toys he's never seen before, not to mention he loses his mind over their gigantic exercise ball.  It just blows his mind that there is a ball that is SO BIG. He also enjoys destroying the trains the other kids carefully assemble - mostly because when he does, the most train obssessed child jumps up and down and cries from frustration.  I really don't think Thomas understands he's upset - it's such a funny sight, this kid jumping up and down - so I have a long road ahead of me, trying to communicate that no, this isn't funny, this is life and death stuff when you're two, son. 

Brenda made a delicious lunch - a chicken and rice soup that she learned from her mom, with zucchini and carrots, too - and I wanted to eat the WHOLE POT. I could have carried it around with me, like the little boy in this book. Then she surprised me with a present (as if feeding me a yummy lunch wasn't enough) of The Tales of Beedle the Bard and a new journal. So kind and unexpected. I bustled Thomas home for his nap and then had a call from Rookie Mama.  She wondered if it would be okay if she and the Green Bean Kid came to take me to supper? Of course it would be okay! Beaux was home by the time they arrived, so we all went out for a fabulous supper. Thomas was, as usual, smitten by the Green Bean Kid and even hugged her. She seemed to like him a little better this time around. We let him sit in the booth with the rest of us until his supper came and he really enjoyed that, bouncing between all of us but not too wiggly to be a pest. All the grown ups ended up with an evil delicious creation called the Monte Cristo...oh, it's awful for you, but oh so good. And even better to see dear friends and loved ones on my birthday. 

All day long, my phone rang with birthday calls (even poor Carrie, who had a stomach virus) and the Facebook and Twitter love came flowing my way. It was really very sweet, and helped make my first birthday in our new home not-so-awful after all. Thanks to any and all of you who made my birthday really very special. 

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Now, my thoughts on turning thirty.  I twittered that it felt like I crossed some unseen border in the night, and that's true.  There's something substantial about the idea of being thirty. You're still young but probably not the youngest person in the room. It's almost a relief not to be the darling young thing anymore. I feel like I can say, take me seriously, here, I'm a thirty-year-old! 

It's a welcome transition. Honestly, one reason I think I feel so okay about this is because of Thomas. I always had my internal periscope focused towards thirty as the time where - if I didn't have children by then - I would begin, it would be time. It's really lovely to have that pressure removed, and to know that maybe I haven't accomplished as much as some twenty-year-old wunderkid, but dang it I have a beautiful, funny son, and being a mama is the one thing I always wanted to be. So here I am, thirty, blessed, doing and being what I dreamed for myself. 

I am relieved to gently distance myself from my somewhat tumultous twenties - when I think of how much I've learned and changed and hopefully grown, it's overwhelming. I love who I am, but still need much soul work and realize that it's only through huge transfusions of grace that I am this person, today. I know I have so many things inside that I think and ruminate upon and yet am disastrous at putting them into action.  What comes to mind - as I lay with the baby in his bed, and rinse dishes and think of what to say, how to say it - is that I would like to be more intentional in my actions, my words. There's often so much brewing inside but it comes out all haphazard and jumbled, most of the time. There's beauty in knowing who I am - and who I am not - and the time ahead of me is for polishing the inner gizmos - not to make me more acceptable for the world, but to make myself better and more of who I know I can be. 

In the meantime, the baby is crying. My life work is at hand! And it's a good life. 

snow day

It's virtually unheard of to have TWO incidences of snow in the same year in Mississippi, and yet here we are. I had forgotten how WET snow can be, but also how lovely - watching it fall from the sky is wee bit hypnotic, I found.  Of course, we dragged Thomas out into it for a photo and he was kinda bershon about it. 

He had a coat, obviously, but I whipped it off him because I was hoping to get a Christmas card picture out of the whole snow event, but alas. No smiles, just disbelief at all the white rain falling from the sky. Later on, I went back outside to grab a few more shots of all that slushy snow and other frozen beauties. 

It's such a novelty, and such a welcome surprise, snow in our little Southern pocket. 

a very good day (yesterday)

Today has been one of those days, one of those rare golden days, where everything seems to flow. There's been a little bit of nearly everything I love, and I want to stick a gold star sticker on today, to mark and celebrate its simple goodness. In general, I am downright cheerful, but today was one of those days that...well, are so good that you can't quite believe it. 

This post might be considered relentlessly cheerful, in fact. 

This morning, I started out by making Swistle's baked oatmeal recipe. I scalded the milk the first time around, but thankfully it was just milk and none of the other ingredients. I was too sleepy to get upset over burnt milk and just started over. The second try yielded a scrumptious, pretty healthful breakfast, all gooey and not too sweet but warm and filling. I spent the morning on the couch with my book and hot coffee in my new Christmas mug (that arrived in a surprise Christmas package yesterday). Thomas played, ate his morning banana (attempting to put the banana peel on his head, of course) and then got in his dose of Backyardigans, drum playing and general mischief making. Beaux was off of work and was up monopolizing  using the computer, so he was in the middle of this happy home atmostphere. Since my book is so good - you cannot underestimate what reading a good book will do for your soul, and being immersed with characters that you know and love (Sidda & the Ya Yas are truly some of my favorite characters) was deeply satisfying - I didn't have my usual attitude of tapping my toes and wondering when the hell is he going to give me a chance to check my email? 

We kind of are like siblings about sharing, sometimes. Does anyone else experience that? Where you find yourself going, is this my brother or my husband? 

But! Back to how good everything was! 

I called the police department about that speeding ticket I got, after I'd been putting it off for...a long time.  Even though, I wasn't supposed to call until TOMORROW, and in my experience, you can't call too early because you never know when the cop will put it in the docket or whatever and so I waited until almost-the-last-minute. This is an improvement for me, I promise. So I call and GUESS WHAT? My ticket has been downgraded to a WARNING.  Here I was imagining that I would have to pay a fine, but my secret plan was to plead to go to traffic school, since I've never been, and then wahlah! NO TICKET. 

I took a bath while Beaux supervised our Rotten One, which is nearly a luxury. You moms know how it is - you either have to wake up before your child does to get your bath, or strap them down in a seat so you know they are safe, or wait til they take a nap. When Thomas is hanging out with his daddy, I know to leave the bedroom door closed as long as possible so that I can at least put on clean underwear in some semblance of privacy. Through the closed door, I heard cascades of giggling from both boys. It' was all I could do not to peek and see what sort of fun they were up to, a mama has to seize her private underwear assembly opportunities whenever possible. 

Eventually - a very long eventually - Thomas finally went down for his nap.  I was dressed and ready to head out the door for my alone time.  I'd been hankering to visit this certain antique market, one that I last visited back in freaking July when it was HOT and there is no AIR in this place.  I'd sworn that I would come back when it was cooler so I could actually putter in the way one should in a great antique place.  Never mind that this place is way far down the highway, usually further away than I venture for Sam-time. 

I grabbed a peppermint mocha for the long drive ahead.  I have pretty much given up on Starbucks because I swear to you their espresso gives me heartburn.  Besides, I used to work for this little chain back home when I had my coffee shop job, and I know they make good stuff. Now that they have their own pumpkin spice lattes and all the good seasonal drinks and all that there's no reason to go to Starbucks. 

I drove and drove with some Over the Rhine Christmas music and finally found the place.  Noticing the 'hours of operation' sign, it seems they are only open Wednesdays through Sundays, so another tiny drop of goodness right there, that I didn't drive all the way there to find it closed. Within minutes of browsing I found this: 

One of my favorite childhood Christmas books! I remember loving this story so much, and I suppose a teacher had it in her classroom, because it's not part of my personal Christmas book stash. (The stash that is technically my family's, and no one cares about it but ME, and still my mama won't give them to me.) I am sure one reason I liked this book is that there is this big party and it involves a pinata!

I am disgustingly sentimental about beloved childhood books, but how can I not be? I can look at those illustrations and get a flash of how they made me feel, as a child, the deep pleasure of picture and story.  

I picked up two books for Thomas - any time I can bring home some Eric Carle, I'm happy, and the Jingle Bells book looks familiar to me.  I don't know if maybe I had another book with the same illustrator, but it was close enough for me. 

Here's a few more finds:

I didn't buy this postcard (I think it was five dollars, uh, no thanks!) but I loved that it had a cryptic message from long ago for me to enjoy.  Here's my transcription: 

Hello Cliff

You are all right

How are we did you

go to prayer meeting Saturday night we went.

Did you go to Sunday School ? eve. We

was sorry we couldn't 

go as ever we...

There was no postage on it, something was written in the stamp portion, and notice at the top it says, "If not received in 5 days, return to sender."

I'm beginning to think maybe it was a play postcard between kids, it's just so cute. 

This packaging was so lovely that I had to take a picture. 

Check out this sweet-cheeked baby! I loved it so and really considered taking it home. One day I'm sure we'll have a hall full of family photos and I could pass this off as family, right?  Wouldn't it be fun to have a whole collection of not-family old photos? 

Short-lived 70s TV show board games! 

Of course, this made me think of June Carter Cash, and now I want to watch Walk the Line all over again. 

How can you go wrong with Margaret Mead, I ask you? There are all sorts of beautiful photos in here from all over the world. A steal for $2.50! 

And of course, I had to pick up a little happy for Beaux, even though I fully plan to sample the goods. What? I have to know if I need to pick up a couple more jars, right? I must support home canning efforts, especially when it involves strawberry jam. 

All in all, such an expected good day is a gift. I'm considering it my early birthday present from God. 

advent reading #1

I thought I might post whatever I find meaningful along the way this Advent season, here, to ruminate over and share with you. I don't know why I'm so focused on Advent, this year - maybe it has something to do with this being the first time in a long while that I don't have a holly jolly roster of activities to do and be about. No choir program, no children's Christmas Eve play, and knowing that I missed the Hanging of the Greens last week is still hard to accept. Maybe it is that I wait for so much, with so much anticipation and trust that it will happen, for things to turn right side up in our life here, and in that waiting I need the focus of the Story, the reminder of waiting for Light to appear. Perhaps this in-betweeness is a good thing - I am longing for Christmas carols, and simple pleasures. I haven't fully jumped into the Christmas stuffness with both feet, and I'm resisting doing so. It's hard to know what I really want to do and what's expected, the usual pull and push that I fight each year. In a little while, I'm going to construct our little Christmas tree, while the Young One sleeps. I do long for Christmas lights twinkling in the darkness. 

I found this in Kathleen Norris's The Cloister Walk - how I love this book. I have possessed it for years and read it several times, but it seems like I read it with new eyes each time.  In one chapter she writes about Ephrem the Syrian, a theologian from the early Syrian church, and shares a prayer that he wrote: 

Have mercy, O Lord, on my children. 

In my children, 

Call to mind your childhood,

You who were a child. 

Let them that are like your childhood

Be saved by your grace. 

I love how I can feel the pivot of each line, and you can see the change of perspective (of God, in God) each time. So beautiful and satisfying. 

boys and dogs and vampires, too

So Thanksgiving has come and gone, and apparently, love for canned cranberry sauce is rampant among the masses. We had a week full of family and food and endless cups of coffee. I didn't take as many pictures as I planned due to my camera battery dying and I'd left my charger at home and my dad's was missing, too. (We have the same camera, makes things very handy, USUALLY! That was why I didn't pack mine, thinking I would use my dad's...I try to eliminate items I can accidentally leave behind, especially important things like battery chargers.) But most of the pictures I did take involved a boy and a dog. Velcro was incredibly patient and sweet with Thomas.

The theme of the week was DOGS and CATS and FOUR-WHEELERS. I spent an inordinate amount of time reading the first three Sookie Stackhouse books, and Someone (to whom I am married) read Twilight, in the hopes that he and I will get to see the movie, together.  (I saw it with some new girlfriends, and my official response is that I didn't want to leave the movie theater after it was over. I wanted to stay and never leave the Bella and Edward universe.  I guess you could say I really liked it.) We are now officially all vampire-d out, as a family. 

Now I find myself facing Christmas, and it's coming bewilderingly fast, careening around the corner like some runaway bus. I still can't figure out where to put the Christmas tree, and Christmas cards are looming (in a good way, I love Christmas cards). I am all about keeping Christmas simple, and keeping it simple requires constant vigilance.  December is a big month - my 30th birthday is coming up - and can anyone recommend any good Advent readings? Right now I'm reading a small Madeleine L'Engle book on the Incarnation. Let me know if you know of something good and not too schmaltzy. I picked a gorgeously illustrated The Little Drummer Boy for Thomas and so that I means I'm reading/singing it about three times a day right now. The illustrations are so lovely that it makes my heart hurt. They may be all the Advent reading I need, who can tell?