september morning

what it means to be gone

the hole you've left behind
your very awayness
deeper than a star plucked from the sky,
ripe for life beyound each breath
building, rising,
rounder than the circle of light
burning, that bright orb shouting
into the darkness of closed eyes
hungered after,
the most delicious meal
planned, shopped, printed on an ivory menu
then cancelled
for tuna sandwiches on old bread
instead
an outing, the promise of laughter,
new flavors of ice cream,
the possibility of finding an elusive old book,
of roasted chestnuts in the snowy park
forgotten, shrugged off
for the episode of something you've seen before
a wrong once blithely innocent
the perfect misunderstanding
now sinister,
with maleficent intent, possibly
guns in purses
and knives in desk drawers. 

sleepy monday

Perhaps we could meet at the lamp post, there
and you could bring me a coffee
for I haven't been awake very long
and my sleep was short.

Only room for the tail end of a dream
between the click of the lamps
bringing the sweet dark
and the humming of the alarms
mine a banjo, yours a bumblebee. 

The covers of the bed were like clouds
a delicious ocean washing over
me toward a deeper dream
the thought of waking tapping its toes
pulling the blinds to let the light
touch the corners of closed eyes.

But you said, two more minutes
and they felt like light years
two tiny minutes
enough time for a civilization
to be born anew. 

Yet awaken, now
shaken like wrinkles
from a crumpled cotton shirt
depending on the small kindness
found in coffee, milk,
cereal in a bowl
and freshly washed hair. 

for Marian

did the fear drip down your two braids
did the panic swirl around your white cap
did your hands feel washed in a not knowing sweat
did you hold onto the corners of your desk
the wood reassuring you yes, you were just
taking a math test and it was hard
and then there was this

Marian did you see the angels, demons
battling, swearing in the corners
did you think your father would save you
oh baby he would have
he will dream of rescuing you forevermore
from burning house and trees
studded with bullets

those us who cherish each girl child
in this toppling world
would have split our own veins
to save you
every mother warrior
would have ripped off her breasts
he wanted blood we would give him ours
drowned him in it
we would have invoked your namesake
Mother Mary in all her guises
Inanna would not have left
the underworld
even for a breath of your sacred life
we would have saved you
if we could have baby we would have

Marian you were strong
full of starlight and dangerous grace
like Joan before the fire
offering your own life first you had courage like
the mighty lionness
like a thousand misunderstood martyrs
and the angels stood touching your shoulders
surging their failing strength
into you gifting you with their wings
weeping
because they could not save you
even though you did what Jesus said
you prayed for your enemy
he dared to ask for it
that coward filled with his own black night
weeping
because the darkness was rising too fast
to save you

memory and present collide

what to do with this body
the legs that hoist my brain my heart
carrying this bag of love envy hope fear
inside, knocking around like graffiti covered boxcars
legs blessedly long hauling a number of pounds
you wouldn't believe the number if I told you
because you are kind and disbelieving
I remember how these once lean legs
would leap up staircases to apartments stuffed with secrets
and classes bleeding with future failure, glory
at least twenty times a day
quietly at night, leaving kisses in the dark corners
stealing into residences that weren't mine, yes
for love on the couch
oh what this body did

I harbor a quiet longing to run
though I make everyone laugh with my bounding gait
the strong women of this world run don't you know
striding along the roads with purpose with direction
battling out their emotional equations with carefully sneakered feet
as the sun girds her strength for the new day
as the moon suspends herself between the pines
like a pearl in God's earlobe

Poetry Thursday

ode to housework

dirty dishes
dog hair scattered like petals
before a bride
laundry ripe in the basket
crumbs on the counter
tomato sauce from who knows when
spattered on the kitchen floor
coffee dripped from a thousand cups before

wipe, wash, dry, rinse, stir, scrub
make the house sing
smelling like candles and bleach
the scribbled lyrics to home
with socks under the bed
and sneakers behind the door
underwear in the corner
from that one night

logic and the moon

a moon, she said,
my moon!
barring no argument
as if it was anything but absurd
to believe that heavenly body
could be her two-year-old property.

sometimes I think
she believes she can carry the moon home
a ball of glowing chalk all her own
to be forgotten under the coffee table.

the kingdom of heaven is like this, Jesus said
there is no logic
only the childish longings and beliefs
we lug around in the scuffed suitcases of our hearts
the whispers of what we really want
to harness the moon
tether it on a spiderweb of a leash
embroidered with stars
we wish to navigate the sky like a holy river
scooping up moonlight,
gathering the stars that fall.

i want you to be my love

we were back in the land our love began
our own personal garden of Eden
here the serpent seduced us all
one by one we fell
we traded unknowing divinity for glorious humanity
like kids exchanging marbles
and you told me
I can't love you anymore
sitting by the fountain, under the tree
I argued, insisted
no, if you try a little more
you can love me
I know this
and I fell in the whirlpool all over again
where you were lost to me.

there was no way to know
I was dreaming.

then I woke,
felt the weight of your body
in our marital bed
touched the reality of you
with my hand, one palm
against your back.

and slept again. 

for Rebekah

the morning shadow
falls in a straight dark line
a path to walk
for ants, room enough

for one brave human step
travelling in and departing out
of the lands of sadness and fear
one swallow suspended in the corner of the sky.

follow her, now, she will show you where to go
your way as beautiful
as the light that shines
around the leaf's edge.

sprouting wings

swim through the waters of waking
hear the knowledge humming through your fingertips
you will dance upon the edges of the cliff
where rock and sky are one.

when you live within the songs
you'll hear the stars breathe
haul the chords from the sky alive
like figs from that childhood tree.

robe yourself in the major keys
drink up her minor cousins
like wine harvested from the sunset
do this, child.

unlock your mighty wings.

monkey mind

There's no sleep
without words tapping their fingers, their twitchy toes
in time
a party shaking it
pinatas busting like bass drums
tilt-a-whirl mania
tricking down my pillows
slow it down, to a simple
ooom-bah-bah, ooom-bah-bah
still the monkey bangs its tambourine