weekend, part one

Last Friday, in the middle of a very busy and long day, my mother called.

"Honey, Grandma and I are making blueberry jelly tomorrow. Don't you want to come?" 

I did.  I agreed to come so quickly that I think she was rather stunned.  Usually I hem and haw and tell her I have to think about it.  It's a completely different situation these days. You don't want to hide out from your parents or assert your independence when you're unemployed.  The worst has happened, there's nothing left to hide - you might as well go home. There is something so comforting in the knowledge that you will be in a very safe place. 

So I got up early on Saturday morning, gathered Velcro, and headed down the highway.  I ran a little late but felt I was doing well, even leaving the house before 9 a.m.  The best part about leaving so early was a whole half hour of the delightful 'Car Talk,' on PRM.  I don't give a hoot about cars, but I'll listen to these sweet guys be funny anyday. 

This is the first batch of blueberry jelly, in preliminary stages. I expected the whole jelly-making process to be much harder.  It's really rathereasy, at least the way my family does it.  Pounds of blueberries.  (Homegrown blueberries, of course.)  Pounds of sugar.  (Hush, Mr. Atkins.) Allspice and cinnamon and lemon juice.  Then you boil and mash.  I was the queen of the mash.  I double timed the mashing utensils, trying to smash those blueberries, but I wasn't very successful.  Hey, it was my first time. 

After all the mashing and boiling, at a certain mysterious time, you add the gel.  I asked intelligent questions like, "How did people make jelly before this cool gel stuff?"  I was seriously perplexed.  Grandma said, "I don't know, it's just always been around."  And that's a good enough answer for me.  I'm sure the real answer includes grossness like pulpy animal marrow, so I'll stick with the cool gel stuff. 

More time passes.  We drink coffee on the front porch, one of my most favorite places in the world.  My grandma, who is a wise woman, said, "So how is your search going?" 

I decide to play dumb.  "Grandma, what search?"  Maybe she'll think I'm searching for enlightenment? 

"Your job search."  Oh.  I explain that I didn't think she knew, and I hadn't told her because I didn't want her to worry.  "Oh honey," she said, "I'm not worried.  You're going to be fine, just fine."  Then we have a lovely discussion, sipping our coffee, and crying a little, about blessings, and forgiveness, and she was so amazing.  She said, "Sometimes, I just don't think I can forget.  I will always remember when someone hurts me, no matter what.  Do you think that's wrong?" 

"No," I answered.  I explained the whole Madeleine L'Engle quote to her, which is the best explanation of forgiveness I've ever found.  "I think we'll always remember, because we have to learn from our experiences.  But I think we know we have forgiven when it just doesn't hurt anymore.  And I fully trust that God will grant forgiveness, if I will ask him, if I will be strong enough to ask for forgiveness to dwell within me. I just have to wait until it doesn't hurt anymore." 

"Well," my wise grandma said, "I've just never heard anyone put it like that before."  We swung back and forth, and looked out into the blue sky.  Then she added, "I like that whole idea.  It makes a lot of sense." 

Later I snuck out into the yard for some picture time.

The clothesline is iconic to me, so much time spent, hanging up clothes, taking them down.  Grandma has always had (well, during my lifetime) a perfectly good clothes dryer.  She just likes it better when clothes are dried outside. 

Most of the trees you'll see are pecan trees.  We have lots.  Many have died recently, or were blown over in the past couple of years by hurricanes.  It hasn't been a very good year for pecans, Grandma says, and next year won't be much better. 

Later that day, after eating a lunch of bacon and homegrown tomato sandwiches, Mom and I went antiquing.  We didn't buy anything, but we had more fun than you could think, poking around in stacks of dishes.  I tracked down every piece of carnival glass and admired it, but left it on the shelf for someone else to take home, or maybe not.  Antiques don't move that fast in my hometown.  We giggled over ugly couches and scary woolen paintings, and I made new friends with a high school friend's lovely aunt.  Sometimes a small town is a very good thing. 

I called The Boyfriend and said, "Can we have a date night with my parents?"  And The Boyfriend, full of grace and goodwill, readily agreed.  Have I mentioned that I love him? As soon as he got out of the car, we found him some appropriate shoes, and went on a walk.  The day was brilliant, the most beautiful sort of day to come along in awhile.  Or maybe I just finally noticed it. 

As we (my mom, dad, The Boyfriend, and I) walked through the fields, my dad told stories, about the land, when a certain field was bought, and the people who have gone before us.  Later that night we talked about how we've met people who had no home base, no place to say, 'this is where I come from,' and how alien that was to our fortunate circumstance. Sometimes, I think it might be liberating to be free from all the history, all the 'fundamental guilt' that comes with family life and love.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  We're inevitably tied to this land, and to each other. We've always known, no matter how far away we are, what road to take, to come home. 

Comments

[iliana]

what a lovely post, and I really enjoyed your pictures.

[frecklegirl]

That is a lovely post... :)

I love the Car Talk guys too- especially their laughs. It just bursts out of them and makes me giggle every time I hear them.

You are so lucky that you get to spend that time with your mother and grandmother. I am sure you will treasure the memory of this day forever. I am getting all emtional now. :)

It looks like the middle of summer there! We are freezing our butts off up here in Boston!

[Carrie]

Sounds like a really great day. I think I really like your family and I don't even know them.

[Mama Rookie]

Did you bring home any jam?

~S

[amylou]

Very evocative post.

I would love to try that blueberry jam!

[lizardek]

That was absolutely beautiful, you darling dear. Your family and your world are so full of love! Lucky girl! :)

[bluepoppy]

Beautiful pics-- beautiful post--- and I trust, some super delicious blueberry jam!!

[Springstead]

Mmm, jelly.

Klik and Klak certainly make me to smile with all of their silly and somehow informative car-talking. Quite a show, that--definitely makes the occasional Saturday morning drive fun.

[Springstead]

I'm confused--did this post the first time or not?

Mmm, jelly.

Klik and Klak certainly make me to smile with all of their silly and somehow informative car-talking. Quite a show, that--definitely makes the occasional Saturday morning drive fun.

[babbling]

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