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Thursday, January 25, 2007



I know you will do whatever your heart tells you to do and it will be right. You are blessed to have Rookie Mama if you decide to work! I didn't have that option, and my decision was very hard to make. Somedays I HATE to leave Isabella, and others I find a comfort in getting dressed and going to teach. I also love my paycheck, because then I can shamelessly spoil the girl!


and by the way? I am not laughing about your writing... I am still dreaming of you on the Best-Seller list. You totally can do it, Sam. I have always believed that. Even with "flowers, flowers everywhere!"


I have always wondered why women just can't be happy for each other, when we are all just finding our way in the world. It is hard to figure it all out and I know that you will do what is right for YOU>


For me, you hit the nail on the head...not just about the choices that come with motherhood, but the choices that every woman has a right to make...and not be judged harshly on.

la vie en rose

this is such a hot topic and man, women can destroy each other over it. i don't personally know a mama out there who doesn't love her child with her life and who doesn't battle everyday with trying to give their child the very best life possible...what ever that may look like. i can say i've dealt with my fair share of grief and guilt. i always thought i'd be a stay at home mom...but life doesn't always work out the way you plan. i ended up pregnant and not married. what does a single mom do. even though Trey and i live together now financially it's still more of a room mate situation--rent, bills, etc. are halved. i don't have the option to not work and rely on someone else's income. now i know there are jobs out there that i could do from home (i could sell marykay...NOT...) but i just haven't found one that i'm interested in. but i will say, it kills a mother to leave her child at daycare. i cried the first day i left him...and continued to cry for months. it's not something you ever get used to...the walking away and leaving him there...you just learn to live with the ache...and you praise the lord anytime grandma offers to pick the kid up early or keep him home for a day.


I echo what the other women have said, but wanted to pipe in to say that I think your idea of teaching your GED class a couple times a week is the path that I'm on in teaching and it's worked really well with me. I love that I get to be home most of the time (because I would not function well if I worked out of the house full-time), but I also love that I get to still have intereaction with students and contribute to the community in that way.

Of course, whatever choice makes you happy is the best choice! But from my experience, the part-time teaching gig works well with parenting. Welcome to the mommy wars, although really, you've already got the best perspective about it. :)


you go on girl - give it all a voice. you will know what you need to do, and then it may change. and then you'll do what you need to do again. there's more than one way to raise a healthy happy child. my parents worked full time, and my caretaker taught me to read and made clothes for me and my dolls (that matched!!). just stay in touch with yourself.
i know you will. xo


Not sure why there are women who feel they have the one and only guidebook to motherhood and give everyone else directions. I have confidence you'll find your own way just fine, around this new territory though. xo


Well said, Sam. I feel the same way, regarding job and staying home, but I have the utmost respect for every mom finding their own path. This is a great post. Go you!

love squalor

and you have such a powerful voice. thank you for sharing. i was recently writing about this on my blog too as i just returned to graduate school and have had to leave my 5 month old baby for a few hours a week. and you are right, there isn't a right or wrong answer and it isn't easy either way. i've come to the conclusion that the most anyone can offer their kids is love and there are so many ways to give from the heart. best wishes to you on your path.


Congrats on the baby. I haven't been around in so long....my oh my.

Anyway...when I was pregnant I thought I would go back to teach in Sept when he was 6 months. Then I decided to stay home because I couldn't bear to leave him at a daycare full time when I didn't have to.

If I had a person I trusted to care for him 6 hours twice a week-with no take home work, I would jump on it.

So nice to read your thoughts and reflections.


well said. I'm staying at home and it is a huge financial sacrifice but it is my heart and soul to teach this girl I have so it feels quite worth it. I wish more moms were as thoughtful as you about how they process and communicate this argument that doesn't need to be so judgemental. Just continue to listen to your heart and learn your own kid and you will know exactly where you should be.


And you know moms are the worst at casting stones at each other...breast/bottle feed, home/public school educate, sahm or working mom....cloth/disposable diapers, you name it, people have strong feelings about it all. I don't think any of it makes a difference for a mother that loves her child.

I wish I could stay home. I wish I could home school. I would do both in a heartbeat, without thinking twice if it were an option. It's not. You couldn't pay me to use cloth diapers though!


That Oprah episode just made me feel guilty about not doing enough with my kids even though I AM lucky enough to be home. There's always something to feel guilty about...

Having both worked and stayed home, I don't judge anyone for their decision. You have to do whatever works best for you and your children.

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